


are we enough to heal ourselves?

by imthefuckingsupreme



Series: to burn, to be enough, to be alive [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff and Angst, angelica is clueless, be patient they are healing!!, eliza is a fierce girlfriend, peggy is just perfect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:34:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29049972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imthefuckingsupreme/pseuds/imthefuckingsupreme
Summary: It all begun with a breakfast between the sisters (and that's why y'all shouldn't be surprised).Part 2 of this little series I'm doing
Relationships: Maria Reynolds/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler
Series: to burn, to be enough, to be alive [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105772
Comments: 24
Kudos: 20





	1. you've consumed my waking days

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!  
> i'm back :D hope you guys enjoy the 2nd part!
> 
> also, eliza only has her eldest kids (philip and angelica) because she's just too young here

Eliza dragged herself through the kitchen, blindly grabbing the ingredients she needed for the chocolate cake she’d promised her sisters three days ago, feeling defeated in a way she thought it could _only_ be reserved for the day she’d read the Pamphlet- turns out she had been terribly wrong, again.

She wanted to _scream_ at the way the sun strongly shone through the big glassy windows, warming her suddenly so cold house, the sunrays touched her bare arms and tickled her chin and nose, almost reaching her eyes. Eliza didn’t want the sun near her, she wanted the horrible thunderstorm back; with loud cracks at the black sky, with the violent wind, with the heavy drops of rain, with _her_.

Eliza wanted her back; she wanted _her_ warmth, _her_ lingering touches- not the _sun_ ’s, not it’s rays, that reached and claimed every part of her that she, that _Maria,_ had touched before- _at least_ , she reasoned to herself, her eyes were still Maria’s enough for the sun not to dare to reach it. And, for then, it would be enough.

She allowed herself to cry, this time.

With a glance at the ivory clock on the wall, Eliza realized, with a tired sigh, she had less than an hour to finish the cake, wake up her children _and_ look less of a mess than how she _knew_ she looked. That _also_ meant that she had at least half an hour to dwell more about Maria, and she would grab any opportunity to keep her closer, no matter in which way.

It was only when she looked at the ingredients lined up on the countertop that she realized the small cubes of chocolate, the same ones she had used for Maria’s hot cocoa, staring back at her- with a trembling sniff, Eliza wondered if it would be too selfish of her to change the cake’s flavor.

After pondering for seconds that felt like hours, she granted herself a bit of selfishness for that day and grabbed the chocolate box with shaky hands, returning it to the cabinet. After drying her ongoing tears barely enough to clear her vision, Eliza took a calming breath, deciding to make a strawberry cake instead, it was Peggy’s favorite after all.

-

While mixing the topping of the cake- that had a beautiful light pink shade, much similar to the dress Maria had worn, Eliza heard two small pairs of feet padding the way downstairs; she felt a smile, even if small, almost difficult to see, appearing on her lips- she quickly washed her tear-stained face on the sink and allowed Maria some free time from her thoughts, as she waited for her children’s arrival.

“Good morning, mommy!” Philip greeted as he arrived at the kitchen running as much as his five year old legs allowed him only to crash directly into his mother’s nightgown, immediately hugging her legs. Her heart grew three sizes from this- her son was a very affectionate boy, and, honestly, it had helped her a lot through the whole nightmare that the week had been- she wondered if it would have the same helping effect this time, about _her_. Somewhy, a little voice on her head told her that it wouldn’t.

“What a nice good morning hug, Pip!” she crouched just enough to be able hug him back tightly and kiss his forehead, that was beginning to flood with the soft curls of his brunette hair- while she waited for the _other_ pair of feet to arrive, she eyed the pink, smooth cake into the brick oven that had started to fill the air with the most delicious aroma of sweet, warm strawberries and vanilla “how do we feel about strawberry cake for breakfast?”

“Happy!” he yelled in answer, jumping in excitement just as her three year old, Angelica, appeared on the corner of the kitchen stumbling onto her own feet, trying to follow her older brother as closely as she could to seek their mother “Mom!” she squealed, stretching her arms with all of her strength she mustered on such a small body.

“And a good morning hug for you too, Angie” Eliza picked up her daughter, who released a delighted giggle “how did you two slept through the storm?” she asked, while also cleaning the counter table, suddenly very aware that they _definitely_ could have seen or, at least heard, Maria at some point. Philip, always her biggest helper, her little right hand man, assisted her to return the ingredients to the right places, she quickly kissed his cheek “thank you, my love”

“What storm?” he asked confused while he sat on the warm ground of the kitchen floor, right in front of the heated oven, gazing at the almost ready cake. Eliza settled her daughter down to the ground again, keeping an eye on her, while she gently dragged Pip some inches further from the oven “the big one at night” she answered as casually as she could.

“Oh, I didn’t wake up _once_ , mom!” he stated proudly, smiling at himself “I’m a big boy, remember?” and Eliza’s heart _swooned_ at her little-big boy already beginning to want to grow up, to be the incredible man she raised him to be; she had _always_ known, that one day he would blow them all away. “Me, too!” Angie’s small voice chimed in, not entirely sure of what she had agreed on, but if her brother had said, then it must’ve been right.

“You’re not big, Angel” he corrected her, as gently as a five year old could “you’re still three” but, at that point, the girl wasn’t even paying attention to the conversation anymore, choosing to focus in befriending the orange butterfly that had entered through the window instead; with a warm chest, Eliza stopped to gaze at her daughter and marveled at how absolutely pure the scene was, secretly wishing they would never grow up.

A sudden, distant sound of a carriage alarmed her- her sisters were arriving “Now, if you excuse me, Mr. Big Boy” Eliza waited for him to hurry off of the ground so she could take the cake out of the oven, letting the delicious scent of the cake flood the house even more, warming the cold off of every corner of the house “your aunts are here, could you please open the door for them?”

Eliza had forgotten how much she loved to cook and briefly allowed Maria to return to her thoughts as she wondered which type of cake was the woman’s favorite- she would bet anything on a cinnamon cake; just as soft and sweet as her, just as pleasant on her mouth as she had been, just as warm as she felt every time the woman was around. Her chest tightened, _God_ , what wouldn’t she do to know if Maria was okay.


	2. and the gossip in new york city is insidious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angelica has some gossip and eliza's way too whipped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
> i'm so sorry for taking so long!! something came up, but now i'm back :D
> 
> also, maria still doesn't appear on this one, but she will very very soon!!! just need to develop some little thingies first

Eliza ran to quickly set the breakfast table as she heard Philip opening the door; she lined up the plates and the silverware, filled the table with the peaches, grapes, apples, blueberries, cantaloupes, pomegranates, molasses, juices, coffee, cheeses and breads she had at the pantry, and dropped, at the end, the silky frosting on top of the cake- having yet to let go of the thought of the dress Maria was wearing every time she put her eyes on it.

“Eliza!” Angelica and Peggy squealed, suddenly appearing on the kitchen, with Pip and Angie right on toe, as if they hadn’t seen each other just yesterday. Eliza ran to hug her sisters, even if she really wanted to spend the day by herself, to figure _some things_ out, she was really glad they were there, they felt like home- she wasn’t even sure _where_ it was anymore.

When the tight hug started to slowly untangle- the worst part of the day for Eliza; who knew it was cue to start the Daily Talk About Eliza’s Feelings Since Her Husband is A Whore, Angelica seemed to have remembered something important and dramatically turned her entire body to face Eliza “How did last night go?” she asked worriedly, caressing her sister’s face.

Eliza, by a fraction of a second, almost told her how _amazing_ last night had been, with Maria, the giggles and butterflies, the happiness she’d felt, the _kiss_ \- until she remembered that Angelica not only had no _idea_ that Maria had been there but would definitely peel her alive if she knew about _any_ of what had happened. So she decided to stick with _part_ of the night for a safe answer “ _Hell_ \- I thought the storm would never end”

Peggy shoot her a comforting look, hugging her loosely “I tried to stop by, but I couldn’t make past the corner of my house- it was too strong” Eliza smiled at this, being with her sisters assured her, even if for a passing moment, that she _wasn’t_ alone, after all. “Thank you, Pegs, it makes me happy to know”

Her younger sister kissed her nose loudly, making her way to the table, to which everyone, but them, had already sat down. Eliza had barely made herself comfortable at the chair when Angelica gasped, outraged “I can’t _believe_ you made a _strawberry_ cake” to which Peggy smirked and arched her perfectly shaped eyebrows “The perks of being the favorite” and Eliza just rolled her eyes affectionately at their antics, making Pip giggle and Angie to follow him on that.

-

When Philip and Angie had grown too bored to listen to the adults’ monotonous blabbering, they excused themselves from the table, each one surreptitiously grabbing one last fruit before running to the garden to follow that same butterfly, that had seemed to have been waiting for them.

“They seem to be handling it well” Peggy spoke, as the sisters quietly watched the kids run and jump on the bright green grass, Angelica hummed in agreement, happy that at least her nieces were as unscarred as they could be in a situation like this. “They haven’t noticed much change, Alexander is still hiding on the office as always” Eliza spoke, trying not to sink under the wave of tears.

“Oh, sweetheart” Angelica glanced back at her worriedly- and _that’s_ what bothered Eliza- not only about her sisters, but about everyone that had for any reason spoken to her on these past few, gray days (no one more than the milk man, the mail man and her father) had treated her with such pity on their eyes, she felt constantly under the spotlight.

Well, everyone _but_ Maria.

 _Too-pure-for-her-own-good_ Maria, with her cinnamon soft skin, silky red-tinted lips, deep beautiful eyes, chocolate tendril locks, was, ironically, the only one who could take her mind off of the whole affair, the one who made her laugh and buzz and blush. Maria had not, _once,_ looked at her as if she deserved pity; in fact, she looked at her with no less than complete, pure _adoration_ -

“Liz?” Peggy called, nudging her arm softly with the elbow. Her sisters were looking at her with scrunched eyebrows, not really knowing how to approach her, Eliza sighed “I’m sorry, I got lost on my thoughts” she smiled at them reassuringly, the _last_ thing she needed was for them to worry even more about her when all she had been thinking about was Maria.

They looked at each other, silently discussing if they should let this pass- to which Eliza had to suppress a huff-, Angelica had agitated eyes, rapidly shooting glares at Peggy, who dodged her anxious stares and simply pleaded patience. After a small beat, the older sister dropped her gaze to her plate and Peggy sipped her lemonade, meaning that, much to Eliza’s relief, they would let it slide.

“Oh!” Angelica suddenly spoke, breaking the quick silence, mid-bite of a soft bread, she widened her eyes and wore a dangerous smirk- her gossip face. _That_ grabbed the attention of her sisters, who looked at her eagerly while she slowly sipped her second cup of lemonade to help her swallow the food easily “I heard” she spoke, pausing theatrically “from the neighbors” she stopped again, anticipatingly eyeing both of her sisters “that _Maria Reynolds_ was _here,_ yesterday”

Eliza’s breath got caught on her throat “ _What?”_ Peggy shouted, wild eyed, flatly slamming her open hand on the marble table in disbelief, Eliza tried to stay as neutral as possible- was it possible that Angelica _knew?_ God- had any neighbor seen them? How had she completely forgotten about this possibility? Jesus, if so, the entire city must know by now -did that mean Alexander knew it too? Did that mean _James-_

“and William also told me he had seen her running down the street” Eliza zoned in with enough time to barely miss Angelica’s story, but the small fragment that she had caught was enough to calm her racing mind down- they knew little about the whole event. “What would she even _do_ around here? And in the _rain?_ ” Peggy asked no one in particular, not exactly waiting for an answer either, while focusing on cutting another piece of cake.

“Wish _I_ knew” Angelica answered arching her eyebrows, turning to Eliza, who was, thankfully, paying attention again to the conversation “I’m glad she at least had the mind to not to knock over here” and Eliza, with eyes filled with passion and hot words bottled on her throat, waiting to be released, sipped her cold lemonade, swallowing the words and knots away, carefully weighting her voice tone to say “That’s just futile thinking, if she had I would have answered and helped her- there was a _thunderstorm_ after all”

Her sisters quickly fell quiet, uncomfortably looking at the food, the sink or anywhere that wasn’t, well, _Eliza_. She almost immediately regretted saying what she had said, with the tone she used, _almost_ \- she knew Angelica and Peggy were very invested in doing everything they could to help her, and she would never look down on this, but she _also_ knew that disliking Maria was an intrinsic sentiment to it.

Eliza knew that that was the overall feeling about Maria on the whole town, saving maybe only herself and Susan, which saddened her to no end, now having met the wonderful, sweet woman that she was- Maria deserved none of that and Eliza would make sure to stop any bashing towards her as much as she could. She knew that, even then, in no way would be enough, in no way would be what she actually _deserved_ , but Eliza made the difference that she could, always being the one to believe in starting the change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y'all liked it!  
> if there are any mistakes lmk :))


	3. i know my sister like i know my own mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peggy Realizes Things and has an idea (eliza is still a protecting girlfriend)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
> here's today's chapter, hope y'all like it!

“You’re right, sis” Peggy conceded her, smiling a little, trying to get her to smile too “and I hope she got home well” Angelica, never one to give in, stole a curious glance at Eliza, who fought to show as less as she could with her eyes while smiling back at her younger sister- she knew Eliza _had_ always been extremely kind hearted, especially when it came to women, and that wouldn’t be an uncommon attitude coming from her.

She just had never thought her sister would be sweet _and quick_ enough to defend her husband’s mistress like she had done, without having never meeting the woman before; she worried about Eliza, sometimes, fearing that one day someone would take advantage of her undying kindness. “That’s true, Lizzy” Nevertheless, she smiled at her sister, because it _would_ have been the right thing to do.

“Alexander has ruined _our_ lives, not just mine” Eliza softly continued, to finish her point, with a barely noticeable tremble on her voice “and she’s got it worse than I have” It was Peggy who inquiringly glanced at her this time, trying to understand where _that_ had come from, since she had never even acknowledged Maria Reynolds’ existence before.

And _that_ was how she noticed Eliza’s eyes- behind the imminent pain that had been constantly plastered on her iris ever since the Pamphlet had been released, this time there was something _more;_ hidden under thin veils of disguise, a vivid small flame tried, almost painfully, to shrink into itself until extinction. Peggy didn’t quite understand what it meant, at first, she just knew that Maria had, somehow, found her way into Eliza’s thoughts, she knew her sister was mature enough to deal with whatever it was, still, she couldn’t help but to worry.

It oddly felt like something was written right in front of her, but she didn’t know the language.

“You are right, Lizzy, I'm sorry for that” Angelica answered, smiling with the corners of her mouth, slightly happy and relieved to see her sister finally performing any emotion other than hurt and sorrow. She softly poked their arms, getting up from the breakfast table “Now can we catch some sun at the garden or do you rather talk about Maria Reynolds all day long?” Peggy chuckled and instantly stood up too, grabbing Eliza’s hand and taking a good look at her “Angel’s right, you’re pale enough to be a ghost”

And Eliza would have laughed, if it wasn’t for the fact that she _would_ rather much spend the day talking about Maria- God knew she could do it- and would be absolutely _fine_ without staying that close to the sun, to its relentless touches, to the memory of the woman she didn’t have.

Still, she knew her sisters were excited about her demeanor on that day; she had baked a cake, she hadn’t cried, she had stepped out from her bubble of despair and they were trying to keep it that way. For the sake of them, she smiled plastically and nodded, standing up from the table as well, where their hands were extended to her; she grabbed them, being washed by the memory of how beautifully _her_ hands had perfectly contrasted with Eliza’s- how, in every sense of the word, Maria’s hands had completed hers.

God, Eliza hadn’t felt more powerless in a long time- she just hadn’t had given herself the time to actually dive into that- choosing to do it when she was safe by the four walls of her bedroom and the never-leaving loneliness that held her oh-so-tightly, just as Maria had, no more than eight hours ago.

Angelica softly detaching her hand from hers took Eliza out of her stupor “But I’m afraid I have had too much lemonade this morning” she let out, earning childish teasing chuckles from her younger sisters “We meet at the garden?” she asked hurriedly, already halfway at the stairs when they agreed.

Eliza glanced at the golden grass, the twirling wind that played with Philip’s locks, she happily listened her children disorderly squealing- her heart felt a little less heavier, letting her know that no matter what ever happened she would always have them to flourish her life with small moments like this.

“Lilibeth” Peggy’s cautioned voice caught her off guard- Eliza frowned, this voice tone wasn’t normal for her sister, she looked at her eyes- they were uncharacteristically wary, seeking for something she already knew the answer in a way _Angelica’s_ would usually do. Eliza’s heart started to jog; _what_ did Peggy know? And, as she had read her mind, the youngest spoke “I don’t know how or why, but I do know that I trust your judgment. Just be careful, you can be too pure for your own good.”

Eliza was even more confused by then, but she had the gut feeling she knew _who_ this was about; she didn’t know until _what_ part Peggy had caught on about them- but her sister looked at her so free from judgments, so caringly and open hearted that Eliza’s forbidden words, the ones she could barely tell _herself_ , found their way up to her tongue, almost escaping if she hadn’t been so attentive.

Swallowing her fears and the truth for the second time of the day, she chose to keep her lips sealed and smiled, hoping it would show at least half of the gratitude she felt to her sister. Which, apparently worked, as Peggy rolled her eyes and smiled “You don’t have to thank me, you sappy, I’m just doing my job”

And, before she could answer, as if the universe simply _could not_ let Eliza deal with one problem at time, as if she had the mind and the _feelings_ clear enough to herself to properly discuss that, Angelica came barreling downstairs, with a dress in hands _._ A _red_ , damp, almost scarlet dress in hands. Neither one of her sisters had seen that dress before, but they had heard enough about it to know _whose_ it was- Eliza profusely berated herself for having forgetting to check the guest’s room before making the breakfast. Angelica came closer slowly, “Should I ask?”

Eliza’s breath grew shallow as she opened her mouth to finally let some of the words locked on her cheeks to run free from her tongue, she glanced panickly at Peggy, who took her hand and kindly stared at her “Um, yesterday Maria was _here_ , as _in the house_ ” she paused, confirming her sisters thoughts “She- _I_ ran after her, it was raining and she looked so distraught and I had no idea who she was until she was already here” she spoke quickly, non-stop, pausing again to regain her air, that kept running from her lungs “I couldn’t let her go back to the rain, so she changed her clothes, hers were wet as you can see” she shakily pointed at the dress “We spent the night talking, I can’t explain… She drawn me in; something about her _-_ ” Eliza stopped abruptly, realizing the wrong words were leaking from her mouth and recompose herself by clearing her throat “she was a _darling_. I let her stay here but, um, she ran away before I woke up”

Her lips trembled dangerously as she whispered the last part and Angelica stood closer, drying a thin path of tears she hadn’t realized she had let slip- she stared up at her older sister, who looked at her with confused but soothing eyes, ready to comfort her from whatever she held on her tears. Eliza’s eyes had the same flame as before, Peggy noticed, but this time it was big enough to take over her entire pupil, engulfing it with a bright glow, now desperate for someone to see it, to see _her._

And, with an epiphany, everything suddenly clicked, everything that had been written in front of her made itself understandable, so she read it, over and over- and as clear as water, as bright as the sun, there it was; Eliza had fallen infatuated with Maria Reynolds. Peggy’s heart warmed with the realization at the same time her stomach dropped; she had never seen that flame on her sister’s eyes before, not with her first boyfriend, not with _Alexander_ \- she wondered if Eliza herself knew what it meant and if so, what kind of situation could this turn into?

So she dared to ask “Why did she leave?” Eliza looked at, not her eyes, but to the sound of her voice, sighing in what Peggy could now recognize as heart-break, trying to find the right words, and as she did so, spat with venom on her tongue enough to startle her sisters “ _James Reynolds_ ” Of course Peggy had heard the rumors about Maria’s husband, hell, the entire city _knew_ it was true. And, with a much softer voice, Eliza answered the unasked question, one she had made many times before, to Maria herself- _why wouldn't she stay?_ “Because she has a daughter”. 

"Oh" Peggy ashamedly nodded, acknowledging the fact, and that even being of public knowledge, no one had ever stood up to do anything about it- and now, no one ever _would_ , as she had turned into an easy target for hatred and negligence.

 _Unless_.

Peggy, never the sister to be known for making the safest decisions, had half a mind to think thoroughly about what she was about to suggest, before she realized she had already opened her mouth and gained her sisters whole attention with the words that leaked from her “Then let’s bring them here”.


	4. going downtown and slummin' it with the poor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eliza is EXCITED and angelica's the only one with a brain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
> hope you guys like this one :D

Eliza had finally worked up the courage to look at Peggy, whipping her head so hard to the point of aching. Her sister held a look on her eyes that made her feel naked, as if Peggy could _see_ through her- way differently than the one she had thrown at her not so long ago; _then_ , she was looking for something, _now,_ she had found it, and that terrified Eliza. Even if her eyes were sweet and held no judgment, even if she was her little sister- to know that someone else knew _anything_ about whatever happened on her heart about Maria, made Eliza uneasy.

She was so lost on her own mind that she had almost completely forgotten about Peggy’s idea- but, of course, her brain shouted the words to her again “What?” she asked, her voice filled with hope and sudden, bursting, happiness, that came to a quick, slumbered stop as she remembered _why_ she hadn’t done that yet. “But there’s James”

Angelica had yet to catch on what Peggy had, so she just confusedly watched the scene in front of her to unroll, but, to see her sister happy like that again there are few things she wouldn’t do, and because she was _Angelica_ , she came tried to help as much as she could, by remembering them “There’s between ninety and a hundred per cent of chance that he’s working today, a Tuesday morning”

“But there’s the ten percent” Eliza spoke, trying desperately to not to sell her hopes for a low price, knowing very well how bad this could turn- and yet, still not being able to stop the buzzing excitement that ran through her body, her fingertips startled to tremble and a smile was fighting to appear; her hopeful, positive nature never once betraying her.

“There’s also the _ninety_ , Lizzy” Peggy spoke, encouraging her with soft eyes and smile- Eliza wondered again _what the hell_ did her sister actually know, but, of course, it didn’t take her much to be convinced; if there was any chance to succeed, she would take it.

The only thing that made her hesitate was Maria herself; if they failed _she_ was the one who would pay for it, and Eliza couldn’t bear thinking about it, even less _risking_ it. But she also knew that if they stood there, too afraid of a bad outcome, James would continue to abuse her nevertheless- It would be a lose-lose situation nevertheless, unless they succeeded, and the Schuyler sisters were known to be really sore losers.

“You’re _right!_ ” Eliza brightly smiled as she stated to her sisters, before suddenly striding purposefully to the front door on her way to the garden “I will let the kids with Mrs. Smith” she explained, already gently holding her children’s grass-dirty small hands. “Would you, please, get the carriage ready?” Eliza shouted to no one in specific, as she made a beeline to her neighbor’s door.

She was working faster than any clock could count, already creating innumerous strategies and, to each, a plan **b** , **c** and **d** \- she didn’t even register her neighbor had answered the door until Philip was waving her good-bye. The thing was, Eliza would do anything, on and off her power to assure Maria was safe, and she couldn’t afford failure.

She let out a chuckle, Angelica would be so proud.

-

For one of the few times on her life, Angelica shot a very confused expression to Peggy, who savored the moment as well as she could, given their short-in-time situation “We better get it ready” the younger simply grabbed her sister’s wrist, pulling her together to the stable. Angelica still had no clue about _why_ they were doing this for a woman they barely knew, but she didn’t need to be asked twice to follow her sisters’ orders when their eyes held so much urgency.

The next thing she knew, Peggy and she were already sat at the carriage, discussing what would they do if James happened to be at the house when Eliza jumped on it- eyes wild, her whole face smiled and shone with a look on her face that Angelica knew very well; _determination_. “Let’s go!” Eliza shouted to the charioteer and, soon enough, the carriage begin to accelerate.

Eliza was ecstatic; her heart had never been so sure of something, her entire soul buzzed, she was sure that’s exactly what Ben Franklin had described as electricity- it was embarrassing how much strength she had to make to keep her smile from outshining her face; she couldn’t believe she was going to see _her_ again, to get her out of that place. Her entire body felt bright like fire and light as air, she held a bit harder on her seat, afraid she would start floating with the smallest of winds.

“Someone is happy” She felt Peggy’s eyes and smiled turned to look at her. Eliza chuckled, trying to contain her smile, she was really happy she had her sister to share the reason of the excitement with, even if it made her fidgety. “I hope we get there before Beth self-combusts” Angelica cheekily teased her, causing Peggy to laugh at the old-fashioned nickname and Eliza to roll her eyes, kicking the legs of both of her sisters softly “Shut it, _Jelly”_

Peggy laughed out loud and Angelica tried the best she could to not do the same and gleefully spoke “Do not think you’re immune to it, _Marge”._ It was Peggy’s turn to smack the older sister- the three of them laughing as they always had; loud, breathless and tearful, made Eliza’s heart full again, twirling with the happiest of emotions that only they could grant her- she felt, not for the first, second or third time on the day, so grateful for having them to count on.

“How do we know which one is hers?” Peggy wondered, looking through the little window at the houses, getting smaller and narrower with every passing street. Eliza was momentarily taken aback with the question, she hadn’t actually thought that through, being so caught up to the possibility of facing _her_ , facing James, that the most crucial information had slipped from her grasp “I- have no idea”.

“Here” Angelica promptly fished a yellowish crumpled envelope from her salmon satin purse, handing it to a curious Eliza “it was at the living room table” there, with a messy, unpracticed calligraphy she had never laid eyes on before, was written a name; _her husband’s name_ , followed by an address that certainly wasn’t hers “I grabbed it to give the address to the charioteer, I hope you don’t mind”, Liz” and that’s why, she reminded herself, they should always let _Angelica_ make the plans.

Eliza’s heart skipped a beat when the recognition of the nature of the letter hit her; she felt her nose starting to ache and her eyes pooling slightly- it was one of Maria’s letter to Alexander, and she didn’t know which part of that sentence hurt the most. Of course she had known they had exchanged letters, he had _published_ them for God’s sake- but Eliza could never bring herself to read it, to see him building another world, another palace for another woman. But now the letter felt heavy on her hands, begging for her to open it, to print every word of it on her eyes, and try to convince herself that he didn’t love her, and, most importantly, that _she_ didn’t love him.

“Can I keep it?” She asked Angelica in a small voice, who looked at her with pain in her own eyes “Of _course_ , it’s-” the carriage came to a halt, startling the three women, who jumped at least three inches from their seats.

Eliza’s first reflex was to throw herself over Peggy to have a better view from the diminute window and, hopefully see her, or her house, or anything about her at _all_ and her sisters weren’t too far behind.

All of the houses looked similar, although being very distinct in ways of style; the biggest house of the street had the same size as her living room and she looked askantly at her sisters, knowing very well the guilt she was feeling wasn’t an isolate event.

They could see people looking at them curiously from inside their houses, dozens of pair of inquisitive eyes watched their every move, which caused the sisters to feel a little wary.

The house that matched the letter’s address stood right in front of their three pair of curious brown eyes; it was, for their surprise, light green with a white fence and Eliza knew it had Maria’s hands in it, her heart felt warm and fuzzy again. “We should knock, I suppose” Peggy was the one to say and the older sisters nodded in silence, the three got out of the carriage slowly, one by one, looking around with uncertainty and taking place next to the charioteer, who didn’t seem to be alarmed at all by the environment, they thanked him for the ride and gained a relaxed smile back.

Eliza looked at her sisters, and, feeling a divine bust of energy with the thought of Maria being so close to her again, she stated “I should go” and, without waiting for an answer, let her legs carry her through the dry, dead, garden on the way to the front door- she took her sweet time, sparing any second she could to reach it. The door itself wasn’t big and it looked like it could break with the next gust of wind, but intimidated Eliza to the point that she felt like she had committed a felony just by stand in front of it.

After taking a third deep, calming breath, Eliza raised her trembling hand and let her knuckles touch the wood, way more times than it would be considered normal. For twelve too-long seconds, the world seemed to stop, the only thing she could hear was her own heartbeat, growing quicker at every moment and the blood rushing through her veins. _Until_ , an almost-not-there shuffle was heard from inside the house, and, soon turned into careful steps.

The door was slowly, _excruciatingly slowly,_ unlocked, leaving space enough for only wild curls to dare to appear behind it. Eliza felt her heart crawling to her throat with anticipation- Maria was just right _there,_ she could touch her if she reached her hand long enough. “Yes?” _her voice,_ always so present, vibrant, now left her lips with a mix of fear and weakness, waiting for the moment to hide under her tongue again.

She didn’t even dare to glance at who had knocked, choosing to protect herself with the fragile door. Eliza felt a pang of gloom deep on her stomach at seeing her in such a state “ _Darling_ ” Eliza finally breathed out, in relief- her voice breaking slightly only at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i PROMISE next chapters are all about maria


	5. i swear that i'll be around for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eliza and maria reunite, susan chimes in and angelica and peggy stand by the carriage awkwardly watching it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!   
> yes!!! they will finally meet again
> 
> tw// mentions of abusive relationship!!!!!  
> (if you need to, you can skip the paragraph in between the lines)

The door was swept wide open, missing Eliza for half an inch, slamming loudly against the house’s wall and the next thing she could feel was _warmth_ radiating through and to her; cinnamon soft skin was launched against hers, pressed against it in every way they could touch, she felt her hands, _Maria’s_ hands, tangling into her hair, holding her for dear life. It wasn’t a hug, it was a promise that, even though they didn’t make, Eliza had managed to keep it anyway.

 _“Liza”_ she breathed out against her neck, and it felt so _desperate_ with longing and fear that made Eliza hold her tighter, burying her own head into the smooth, chocolate hair that twirled freely above her head- and there they stood, desperately grasping each other, matching their heartbeats, their breathing, their tears. “I thought- God, I’m so _sorry,_ I didn’t want to-” Maria choked out, never losing the tight grip, never failing to send the most devilish shiver through Eliza’s spine every time her lips met her neck.

“Shhh, I know, I know” Eliza spoke as tenderly as she could, the words matched their heartbeats, trying to calm the woman and her own heart down. She felt like a gun bullet and a flower seed at the same time, her heart was in such a speed she wanted to run away until her lungs burned and tears fell from her eyes, to hold Maria as strongly as it took for two bodies to blend into one- but she also craved, just as much, to melt into _her_ mouth, to spend days, healing, blossoming by her side, to wake up and decide to take a bath of the sunrays, to hold her just for the sake of feeling her soft skin brushing hers.

Slowly Eliza let her grip loosen up a little, not changing the slightest thing on her prior position, only the amount enough for them to finally _see_ each other, much for the other woman’s distress- and, _Jesus_ , she swore Maria managed to get prettier every single time she would rest her eyes on the woman, _but-_

_But._

_\------------- tw--------------_

As dark as the sky of a moonless dawn, what had could have been passed as a shadow before, was painted Maria’s, her _friend’_ s, left eye and dripped a little on her nose, too, just like a China ink did to paper- Eliza felt pure rage filling her veins and arteries; she knew that was something she was supposed to expect, something that James would, knowingly do, but to _see_ that he had actually done it, to see _her_ so broken, shattered Eliza’s heart in a way that physically hurt.

\------------------------------

Maria avoided her eyes at all costs and tried to disappear into her own curls- she didn’t look ashamed, but, instead, looked absolutely disgusted and Eliza chose not to pry and deflected her eyes from the woman, giving her as much privacy as she could. She grasped Maria a little stronger again, as she felt her head returning to the crook of her neck again, pulling her for another embrace “I am so sorry” she hushed into her friend’s hair- from the corner of her eyes she caught her sisters still awkwardly standing by the carriage, and _then_ remembered the reason they were there at the first place.

“We came to take you away from him, darling” Eliza spoke, testing the waters, and immediately regretted her timing as soon as she felt Maria’s shoulders trembling against hers, suddenly as fragile as porcelain, trusting Eliza’s body to shield her from the rest of the world. And so she did, caressing the woman’s head as she felt her own neck and shoulder growing watery with hot, fearful tears from the woman she swore to protect.

“Why?” came from a muffled, small voice and Eliza felt her heart breaking all over again, with one or two tears slipping from her eyes, she held Maria even closer to herself, too afraid to let her go again “Because we’re friends” she answered, echoing the conversation they have had at her house “and I care about you, I _truly_ do”. This time, though, Maria didn’t smile at the reminder of their friendship, but her head bended slightly back, just enough to see her face- _how she had missed her face_ \- and for her eyes to met Eliza’s for the first time of what it felt like forever.

While looking into the eyes that Eliza adored so much, she had the impression of be staring at an empty space, almost like the hollow of a tree, the type of blank that was so full of sorrow that the only thing it could carry was the absence of a color- the tone of black that caused people to close their eyes in an attempt to hide into themselves. Maria’s beautiful chocolate orbs stared at her with a plead, that, with a blink, leaked down to her chin in fuming, red tears- and that’s when Eliza promised yet _another_ thing to herself; she would hunt James Reynolds down to his grave, no matter _what_ it took.

“Who are they?” Maria asked, taking a small, instinctive step back, she didn’t make any motion to acknowledge the two women outside of the carriage, but Eliza didn’t have to be a genius to know at who she was referring to “Angelica and Peggy, my sisters, came to accompany me in case, um, _he_ was here” she quickly took her eyes out of Maria to wave at her sisters, letting them know it was everything under control- Angelica smiled in relief and Peggy shoot her a _look_ that made her feel like she was twelve again, talking to her countingpartner.

She felt giddiness travelling through her body as the thought of Maria being the equivalent to a _countingpartner_ reached her mind.

Her heart bloomed again as she turned her eyes at said woman, she would never grow tired of looking at her, Maria eyed her back with curiosity and had her mouth open, ready to shoot another question, when a little, hesitant voice came from behind them, breaking the small moment “Mommy, are you okay?” the voice resembled Maria’s in more ways than it didn’t- Eliza’s chest squeezed in lament with the amount of caution and reluctance that a _child_ carried “who is she?”

Maria immediately unraveled herself from Eliza’s safe arms and furtively dried her eyes, never once letting go of the pale, soft, warm hand that she had holding hers “Hey, baby” she wore a tender smile, looking at who Eliza assumed it was Susan, as if she hung the moon, as if she was the most precious thing to exist on Earth, and Eliza was sure that's exatcly what she was to Maria.

The girl, maybe two years older than Philip, was almost as gaunt and small as he, and the absolute _exact_ copy of Maria; she had her same mesmerizing eyes and astonishing fell-in-ringlets hair, they shared the same mouth and Maria's _adorable_ nose. Eliza's heart swooned with the mere sight of the mini-Maria, whose eyebrows were scrunched up in worry as she looked between Eliza and her mom. “I am okay, Bug, don’t worry about me” Maria soothed her daughter, who smiled toothily with the nickname.

The woman, then, turned back at Eliza, putting her at the center of the spotlight “And _this"_ she smiled with the corners of her mouth as she introduced the two people that held her heart to each other “is Eliza, mommy’s friend”.

Eliza, eager to get to know the girl, always being one to enchant _and_ be enchanted by children, flashed her a genuine smile, that Susan reciprocated with the smallest bit of reluctance, and raised her hand to give her a small wave- which was immediately proven to be an erroneous action as the girl flinched and, within half a second, flew behind her mother’s dress, clinging at the fabric.

Both of women stared at each other silently and Maria’s chin quivered dangerously as she held her daughter’s hand, still locking her eyes, drawned in mortification and _pain_ , with Eliza - who stood motionless, feeling her heart being filled with so much sorrow that it became almost _too_ heavy. Maria blinked a tear away and deviated her eyes from Eliza's again, speaking, in an almost whisper, to both her daughter and her _friend_ , not daring to look at any of them “and she's here to take us _home"_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope their reencounter was worth the wait!!   
> hope you liked it :D


	6. then i turn and see my sister's face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eliza's timing is still very bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
> i'm soooo sorry for taking so long!! this one was a bit tricky to write

Maria was found being comfortably sat between Eliza and her daughter, who had her little head resting on her shoulder, lightly asleep from the constant oscillation of the carriage; the vehicle managed to fit the five of them perfectly and was definitely the most luxurious one she had ever seen, let along _been_ on- but even with the fair amount of space available, she still felt extremely claustrophobic.

See, in front of her were sat Angelica and Peggy Schuyler, two of the wealthiest women of the entire city, and, if that wasn’t enough reason for her to become even more self-aware than she naturally already was, this one would do it; these were also Eliza’s _sisters,_ who probably held much less sympathy for her as she did.

Maria could feel their excruciating, silent, gaze being directed at her every movement, so she did what she was best at; to remain quiet, holding her gaze on the floor- which was proved to be yet _another_ challenge when _Eliza_ was finally _right there_ and all she wished to do was to look at her, to see the face she had grown to adore with every fiber of her being since the first time her eyes had landed on it.

She had been in such ecstasy when Eliza appeared on her door that she barely found time to actually _gaze_ at her, to look at her dimples, to admire her little nose, to look at her _smile-_ God, the smile that could light up the darkest of places- but now she couldn’t dare to; she wasn’t able to look at her without entirely dismantling herself anymore, without smiling like a teenager and blushing enough to burn her cheeks- which, she figured, wouldn’t be the best way to present herself to the woman’s sisters.

“I _love_ your eyeliner, Maria” a kind, foreign voice addressed her and grounded her back to the reality- her heart piqued up, and for a split second she panicked, remembering about the giant bruise that painted her eye and nose, wondering if that was a fancy way of embarrassing her; to show Eliza how she wasn’t good enough to be acquainted with, or solely for her pure amusement.

Yet, she immediately raised her head from the ground, not wanting to come off as rude, wondering which one of the two had spoken since the three sisters were looking expectantly at her- it was the first time she had actually _looked_ at the three of them together, and while none of the sisters had absolutely no features in common, their brown eyes held the same warmth and kindness, and this, somehow made her release part of the nervous sigh she had been holding since the first step into the carriage.

When the woman on the yellow dress tilted her head to her side, patiently waiting for an answer, Maria thanked heaven for the small sign and smiled at her, finding herself actually happy knowing it had truly been a compliment “Thank you, ma’am, it’s just a mix of soot and oil” Peggy giggled at her answer and shook her head slightly, offering her a humorous smile “It’s Peggy, there’s no need for ‘ma’am’ here” she nicely assured and stage whispered to her “even though Angelica _does_ look a little bitchy” 

Maria was colored surprised with Peggy’s comment and the naturalness that it had when it got out of her mouth, holding not a negative connotation, but rather an affective one. She grew even more astonished when Angelica responded with not an ounce of wrath, doing nothing much than rolling her eyes and playfully smacking her sister’s arm “Oh, shut up, Margarita” and, much to everyone’s slight surprise, she turned to Maria wearing a tentative smile “I usually mix lead salts instead; they don’t stain as much, but yours look astronomically better”

Not only the comment, but the entire exchange between the two women, for some reason, made Maria’s heart reduces its velocity to a normal rate- maybe she _was_ at a safe environment after all; Angelica and Peggy didn’t seem like they were there to judge her _at all,_ in fact, it did look like were trying to help her. With a small smile she rolled her eyes internally, of course she shouldn’t have expected much different from the girls who were raised with Eliza.

 _God_ , _Eliza_ , who was a fingertip away from reach, but that Maria couldn’t bring herself to touch, given the enormous quantity of sudden shyness and embarrassment she felt around her; not only because Maria was finally aware about the way the woman made her heart dance in a way it shouldn’t, but also because Eliza had finally seen how _weak_ she was; with the big blue tarnish on her face and the way she couldn’t protect her own daughter from her husband’s tantrums.

If she would be honest with herself, she didn’t think Eliza would even _want_ to touch her again after all of that.

But then, she _felt_ it; a slight, almost ghostly brush against two of her fingers, that might as well have been just the wind- but no breeze could ever make her heart jump the way it had. With a teenager-ish excitement she hadn’t felt in a long time and the small fear of being misguided by her own wishes, Maria dared to steal Eliza a look.

To say that her heart skyrocketed to her palate when she realized Eliza was already looking at her would be a euphemism; Eliza held an amount of joy and passion on her eyes in a way that Maria would _never_ imagine being directed at her- she tried as hard as she could to hold her blushing, but knew it was a lost case with the way Eliza’s eyes softened at the sight of it.

Eliza swore that, on that moment, the two of them were the only people existing on the world, that the universe was exclusively theirs and the sun shone only to enlighten their path throughout their heartbeats on Earth. With the way Maria’s eyes looked at her; full of adoration and pure endearment, and how her entire face started to redden up in such way that reminded her of a red ixora flower, Eliza did the only thing she had been trying not to do ever since Maria opened the door, the only thing she was capable of doing in such situation.

She slowly allowed her own lips, filled with burning desire, to hover over Maria’s for enough time to be captured by them.

Their lips barely had enough time to hug their yearning away when a startled gasp escaped from Angelica’s mouth, followed by a kick on her leg from a very annoyed Peggy. Maria detached her lips from Eliza’s as if she had been burned by them, _what had she done?_ She felt her despaired lips already forming lakes and rivers of apologetic words when Peggy chimed in.

Maria had no courage to look at Eliza again, scared to find regret on the warm chocolate eyes she adored so much, so she chose, then, to focus solely on the younger Schuyler and rely on the bittersweet taste of the after-kiss “Angel can be so dramatic” she turned at her speechless older sister with very accusatory eyes “ _right_ , Angelica?” to which the woman immediately nodded, but her face was unreadable and, for the first time, Eliza, with a heavy heart, found hard to recognize her sister’s eyes.

The carriage came to a stop shortly after, saving them from a terribly awkward silence that would have followed up and Maria wanted nothing more than to vanish from existence when Angelica skipped out of the vehicle as soon as the charioteer opened the door. Peggy, before angrily chasing after her, looked over at Eliza and her with kind eyes and easy smile “You shouldn’t take this as a discouragement, love birds, she is just being her uptight self” and then shooting a quick grimace at her sister “but your timing is _terrible_ , Lizzie”

“I have known” Eliza answered halfheartedly, more to herself than to Peggy, who had already jumped out of the carriage. Maria had her eyes steady on the ground again, knowing Eliza would be trying to fish the right words to talk to her and already getting ready for whatever way of throwing her out the woman was about to find. And, this time, she would _not_ cry, as she had put herself into that situation, yet again.

But when Eliza’s urgent but gentle hands shakily grabbed hers, she couldn’t hold the fast tears from washing her emotions away, staining the floor with her regrets. When she heard a short intake of breath and her soft, heavenly mouth opening, ready to declaim her fate, the very last thing Maria expected to hear was “Look at me, darling” in a soft, tearful voice “I have missed your face enough already”.

And Maria, never being able to deny Eliza anything, did as such, only for her chest to squeeze into itself with the sight she was met with- Eliza had been _crying._ Eliza had cried and _she_ was the reason of it. God, she should have never accepted her invitation, she couldn’t defile her friend’s life; the life of a woman she adored _so_ much, the woman her heart beat for, with her company, at least not more than she had already done.

“I am _so_ sorry, Eliza” she managed to mumble through her own tears- the woman, as always, shook her head and looked at her with the always-so-gentle eyes “ _I_ was the one to kiss you” she spoke, with not an ounce of regret, but, actually, holding what could be a little pinch of pride in between every said word “and I intend to do as such more times, if you would allow me” Eliza shyly added, red slowly coloring her cheeks.

Maria frowned confusedly, looking at Eliza as if she had spoken in an entirely unspeakable language- why wouldn’t she blame her for the things she was guilty of? Why was she so _kind_ to her? She didn’t deserve any of her kindness when all she could offer the woman was so much despair “Liza, you’re crying” Maria felt silly as the words fell from her mouth, pointing the obvious “and because of _me_ , your sister is odd with you” she reasoned, squirming on the leather seat, avoiding her eyes, once again.

But Eliza’s sudden kiss felt like a negation to what she had said, an affirmation to what she had doubts about and a plead, like the ones she had done infinite times before, before holding Maria’s face on her kind hands “I know my sister like I know my own mind, Angelica is not mad at me, at _us_ ” she spoke hoarsely, looking into Maria’s reluctant eyes “I won’t give up on you so easily, darling” and lastly, finishing with one last peck, she smiled tentatively, gazing at outside of the carriage “Now, why don’t you wake Susie up so she can rest properly? Let me introduce you to your home”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it, lovelies!  
> i'm sorry if this one was a bit weak, it was a bridge for Things Can Happen now


	7. hands started fidgeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maria discovers peace and eliza overthinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!!   
> sorry for not updating yesterday, college is back so i'm trying to balance it with the fanfic   
> i hope you like it!!

“Mom” Susan called her a moment after Eliza had closed their new bedroom door, granting them a much needed privacy, Maria turned to her small ray of sunshine, smiling as if the weight of the world had been finally lifted off her shoulders, that lost just a bit of strength as she heard her daughter’s bothered tone “Why are we here?”

Susan seemed not to share the same happiness as she did; in fact, her eyes were troubled, as they would be often find- _way too troubled for a seven year old_ , Maria suppressed a heartbroken sigh- but this time, they were also clouded, unquiet. As her mother didn’t answer, Susan anxiously looked around the bedroom, scanning the new ambient, reminding Maria a lot of herself when she first set foot on the house, either invited by Eliza or Alexander, always looking for an escape, always alert.

“Hey, Bug” she softly brought Susan’s eyes and attention to her, shooting her a calming look that only a mother could muster to a child “You are safe in here, _we_ are safe in here” Maria carefully held her daughter’s hand, covering it with her own “We will stay here for a moment, just, until James is dealt with”

At the mention of her father, Susan shook, instinctively growing closer to her mother and holding her arm, invading her personal space, surprising Maria- the girl have always had her own boundaries extrictly set, never daring to step outside of it, less more _into_ anyone else’s. “Why is Eliza helping us?” she whispered, searching her mother’s eyes for answers, but still not being old enough to read her.

It hurt, in Maria, to see herself so intrinsically mirrored on her daughter; passing to her the same distrustancy, the same fears she wished so much they wouldn’t consume her the way they did- she wanted a different life for her daughter, as far away from her own as it was possible. “Because Eliza is my friend and friends take care of each other” she explained, trying to convince herself at the same time “I know we haven’t had this kind of people around us, but I have the feeling this will have a great outcome”

And a small smile appeared on the corner of Susan’s lips, almost ashamed of stepping outside of its shell; she trusted her mom’s intuition as if it was hers- it had never once betrayed them. That shy grin, the one that begun to be reflected on eyes that were once so numb, was what brought the first pinch of safety and _relief_ of the entire life to her petite, tense body. It made Maria, for the second time on her life, believe that she had made the right choice.

Her body and mind were washed, flooded by the solace of finally being able to provide protection to not only her daughter, but to herself; the little Maria Lewis that had yet to discover and understand the concept of safety and caring. Susan and her were truly safe, for the first time on their lives.

-

As soon as she closed Maria and Susan’s new room’s door, Eliza started to pace around the second floor of the house, trying to calm her racing mind down, not daring to set foot downstairs and risk facing Angelica; She was at lost, totally in the dark- what did her silence meant? She knew her sister would never turn her back at her, but the uneasiness that she had set on her own heart was starting to tell her otherwise.

Would Angelica, her older sister, her hero, really be capable of doing such thing? To simply throw her away, as if she was nothing but a flower that had dried? Were their fraternal bond not as everlasting as she had always though? Would she be capable of leaving Eliza behind because of one kiss?

She knew damn well it hadn’t been just _one kiss_ , but still, she was her sister, her own _blood._ Eliza’s breathing hitched on her throat, her feet came to a full stop as she was haunted with the sudden so possible circumstance. But she couldn’t, she _wouldn’t._

_Right?_

Eliza trembly sighed and stared at her own shaking hands, trying to stable herself to the reality- to think with her head, not with her mind, as Angelica would say; so she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She would not make assumptions, however possible they may feel like, however true they sounded, the only one who could truly know what her sister was thinking was, well, _her sister._

She couldn’t suffer through what her own mind had been setting up for her, since none of them- not her mind, not herself, not even her soul- as much as they knew Angelica, knew what was passing through her sister’s head. It was out of her control and trying to guess the future usually brought her more harm than the actual upcoming.

But the situation _had been_ her own, sole doing, Eliza granted herself this small undoubted guilt. She still didn’t know what had gone wrong on her mind to kiss Maria _in front_ of them- of _Angelica_ , who had about the slightest idea they even _knew_ each other. She resumed her agitated walking, this time, adding fidgeting hands to the process- should she dare to go downstairs and bare the uncomfortable conversation they were sure to be engaged into?

Would Angelica even _want_ to talk to her, on the first place? She came to another stop, frowning her eyebrows. Eliza ventured a look at herself on the reflection of the nearest window, trying to distract herself from that possibility. She was almost scared of who she was going to find inside of her own eyes.

Her heart jumped at the way she looked from the outside, how her external demeanor was entirely different to the one she was currently feeling- Eliza felt so small, so ashamed and _wrong_ , and she had all the reasons to wait the same things from the outside.

But, for some reason, it had been quite the opposite, Eliza gave an impromptu step back as her eyes met with the reflections’- she looked serious, almost vexed, her still furrowed eyebrows emphasized even more the chocolate eyes that _burned_ with something- it wasn’t quite anger, but it brushed with determination and flirted with _passion._

What was she blaming herself for? _Yes_ , it had been quite the bad timing, but what did anything of that have to do with _Angelica?_ “Nothing” she answered the self-inflicted question out loud, arching an eyebrow at how fiercely her voice had thundered from inside of her, watching as the glassy window mirrored her movements. The woman that stared back at her looked like Eliza, moved like Eliza, but wasn’t the Eliza that had been pacing around the floor at the slightest.

She was braver.

So, with one last look at herself, she purposefully walked to the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes..... that was another bridge   
> promise it'll get better  
> hope you guys liked it :D


	8. and her eyes are just helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eliza and angelica Talk (thank Peggy for that)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!  
> college is Eating Me Alive i'm so sorry i haven't been able to post everyday
> 
> so here's a double update :D 
> 
> hope you enjoy it!

“Thank God, I thought your feet were going to cave holes on that floor” Peggy spoke as Eliza reached the bottom of the stairs, paying attention to her every move, trying to guess what conclusions her older sister had come to. When she found absolutely no clue about them, she shot Eliza a reassuring smile hugging her tightly “Come on, Angel is cooking the supper”

Meals had always been a delight at the Schuyler household as Catherine, their late mother, was mastered at the art of culinary and had happily passed the gift and passion to her girls, at that point, baking ran on their blood- she had given them only one strict instruction; to cook is to _love_ \- and the three sisters followed the rule to the core.

That’s why Eliza deeply appreciated Angelica’s choice of environment, she felt immensely more at easy when there was something to focus on, instead of only about the conversation, a smile furtively appeared on her mouth; her sister was _trying_ , and that small gesture solely managed to wash away all (or _most_ of) of her past insecurities.

The first thing she noticed as she stepped into the kitchen was the heavenly arome of a newly roasted duck and what she hoped it would be cranberry and orange sauce exploding into colorful bubbles on the heating pots next to Angelica. Peggy announced their presence by cleaning her throat and slowly faded into the opposite corner of the kitchen, leaving Eliza under the spotlight.

“Oh” Angelica carefully stopped stirring the orange sauce “Hi, Lizzy” she turned her entire body around until it completely faced her younger sister. Eliza, taken aback by her relaxed posture, stole three seconds from the small silence to wonder if herself really had the right to feel as much as she had, if she hadn’t completely overreacted about everything again.

Her doubt didn’t last long when Angelica, hearing the silence with different ears, dropped the wooden spoon she was holding on the pot and took two hesitant steps towards her sister “I am _sorry_ , Elizabeth” she apologized as profoundly as she could, trying to gaze into her eyes.

As much as Eliza  _did want_ to assure her everything was  alright , like she always urged to, something held her back- a persistent small voice, the type she couldn’t ignore even if she wanted to, that sounded terribly like Peggy’s whispered on her head; Angelica  had made something that had upset her, and that, enough would be a good reason for an apology- now if added the  _whole_ context, an apology should be expected.

And that’s okay, she could do that.

“I have behaved poorly, Lizzy. Even if I didn’t know about the… _nature_ of your relationship with Mrs. Reynolds” Angelica seemed to struggle to find the right words to fill her sentences- a very unusual situation for her “I had no right to make it about myself”

She took a deep breath and stared sheepishly at her younger sister, almost scared of how Eliza would react, if she did even _want_ to have this conversation at all.

“Believe me, I was just caught by surprise- but I understand if you’re frustrated with me” Angelica nervously glanced at Peggy, their mediator, who gave her energetic thumbs up. She took it as a good sign and kept going “I, um, am cooking duck, does Maria and Susan like it? I’m also making pasta if they don’t, but I’m sure I can find something else, if needed”

Eliza, at that moment, had a giant, silent, yet, almost screaming beam that managed to lit up the entire room. She held a giggle as her sister nervously rambled, trying to come up with another solutions to her sudden nonexistent problem.

“Angel” she interrupted softly “I’m sure they like duck or _at_ _least_ pasta” she smiled gratefully, stepping closer to her sister _“Thank you,_ I hold no grudges against you, I understand it came as a big surprise”

Angelica looked at her with such surprise that Peggy swore her eyes would pop out of her face- the older sister smiled toothily at Eliza, taking a tentative step closer to her and, in the span of a second threw herself into her sister’s arms in a long, forgiving hug. The sisters rarely fought, but when it happened, they would pivotally hug it out.

Looking back, Angelica should have known- _Peggy_ had, after all, and Eliza had never been exactly subtle with her appreciation of women- her lingering stares had never managed to fool her sisters, or _anybody_ who paid enough attention, to be honest, and her cheeks would never fail to redden under any and every female gaze.

She had never thought anything of it, never imagined any of that having the smallest influence on her sister’s adult life. She had never even dreamed that Eliza did feel something _more_ than just physical curiosity and attraction- but that wasn’t Angelica’s business anyways. She only wished for her sisters’ happiness it didn’t matter with who or how.

But _this_ \- how could she predict something like it? That’s her brother-in-law’s _mistress_. Would anyone blame her for keeping an eye on her little sister? For all that she knew, Eliza knew Maria for no more than two days- and Maria had managed to scam _Alexander,_ of all people, what could she do with Eliza?

Eliza, as if reading her mind, suddenly wore a serious tone, holding her sister’s hands and gaze “I know it may not be the best scenario, but I need you to trust me with this, with _her”_ It wasn’t a hard task, she trusted her sister with her life and soul, it was Maria that worried her.

But she knew Eliza was right, they weren’t children anymore, they made their own decisions and would deal with the consequences of it- of course, she would worry just as much, but she decided to give Maria Reynolds a chance, she didn’t look like she’d had much.

And then, taking long enough, she finally realize what Peggy has- maybe it took her looking at Eliza as _Eliza,_ without her own expectations about her sister, without her own _anger_ of Alexander for not choosing her _twice_ and hurting her little sister and nieces along the way, without seeing her sister as not the strong woman she _knew_ Eliza was, but to reduce her to her pain and grieving. For looking at Eliza with _Angelica's_ eyes, and not as who she truly was- just as Peggy did, just as, Maria, apparently had done too.

Because if she had looked close enough, she would have seen, written in bright colors in such dark eyes- the way Eliza was absolutely enamored with Maria, the way her own smiles were now more Maria's than Eliza's and the way her eyes would cloud and her voice would thunder over any mistrieting of Maria's name. The way she had been lighter than air and fire as she had entered the carriage, with Maria in toe, way closer than it would be needed.

The way she had missed her little sister falling, floating in a type of love she had always hoped the three of them would find, the type that could ignite a fire, an _incendium_ , with the smallest of touches, with the fewest of words. The type that was unexpected, fast and unstoppable. That would turn their world upside down- and she wouldn't allow herself to lose any more of that over petty assumptions about a woman she had _yet_ to meet. 

“I love you, Eliza” she stated, to clear definitely any second thought she knew her sister could have, with that overthinking head of hers. Eliza kissed her sister’s cheek, with her chest filled with _happiness_ “I love you, Angelica- _thank you_ ”

“What about _me?_ I made everything happen, you old ladies” A voice rose from the side of the kitchen; there stood Peggy, with playful crossed arms and her signature pout- always the baby sister. Eliza and Angelica lovingly rolled their eyes as they pulled her for yet another embrace; they _were_ very physical people “I love you, Peggers” Angelica chuckled and kissed her right cheek.

“I _love_ you, Pegs” Eliza smiled, pecking her left cheek “thank you so much for _all_ of this, _truly_ ”

“Anything for my sisters” Peggy answered, astonishingly happy for everything having turned out the way it did, way better than she had predicted, and cheekily added “Especially for the ones that bake _my_ favorite cakes” causing Angelica to loudly roll her eyes and start yet another bickering. Eliza had never been so grateful to listen to those.


	9. when you smile, you knock me out i fall apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eliza and maria are in LOVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!
> 
> here it is the final chapter of part two!   
> hope you enjoyed it!!

Two knocks resonated through the not-so-small guest room, startling Maria awake from her light slumber and hiding itself into her own body, for half a second, preparing herself for whatever it would be this time. Only for then, her eyes to adjust to the darkness and make the silhouette of a fancy wardrobe out, suddenly remembering that she was as far from her- _his-_ house as she could have only dreamed for so long.

And with a warm heart, she recalled she was, in fact, at _Eliza’_ _s_ house, _her_ Eliza, the woman she… _more_ than adored, that had managed in so _so_ little time, to conquer her entire heart and thoughts- the woman she absolutely magnified, the woman she-

Another, now softer, almost-ready-to-leave, knock on the door reminded Maria the reason she had woken up at the first place.

“I’m coming!” she announced, loud only enough to be heard from the oustider but not for her daughter to wake up- Susan took a long time to nap again, and she knew her daughter was at least three years behind a healthy sleep schedule. Maria hastily stood up and hurried to open the door, nervous about which sister would be at the other side- but, not wanting to make whoever was to wait even more, she slowly opened it.

And _o_ _f course_ it would be her, with the brilliant, worried-filled brown eyes, hypnotizing smile and love hiding within her every feature- she was the pure definition of goodness and beauty and Maria wondered if there was already a god of these things and if so, how much they would wish to be like her. _You t_ _ake that, Aphrodite._

“Hello, darling” Eliza smiled with relief, as if she had kept her smiles solely for her and were only now, allowed to be released, her words melting into Maria, causing the woman to smile as well and gaze at her like a lovey dopey teenager “How are you two?”

Maria changed the weight of one foot to another, suddenly slightly nervous “Hi, Liza” she rested her body on the door jamb, staring at the woman, not wanting to miss another single second looking away “I have missed you” her mouth terribly betrayed her, letting it out of a momentum. Maria regretted it for two full seconds before she saw Eliza’s face blushing to the tip of her nose and her face breaking into a bashful smile- Maria didn't have to be a doctor to know her heart had just bloomed twice it's size.

“I have missed you, too, you know” Eliza answered, looking at her from under her eyelashes, but still nudging the woman to answer the question she had made. _Oh_ , It still surprised Maria, when she asked questions _actually_ waiting for honest answers- not because she wanted to humiliate her, but because she _cared_ about her “We are _truly_ great” she answered, not quite knowing how to do it, what would she want to know? “We, um, took a nap not too long ago- Susie’s a little hesitant, but she is _happy_. _I_ _am_ happy”

Eliza’s eyes lit up and her entire body seemed to glow with her answer “There was nothing more I wished to hear” her smile flowed, emanated from her in a way that made Maria’s body tremble- God, _what_ was that woman? How could anyone like _her_ be allowed to live on such a hopeless world? To live next to _her?_

“Angelica’s finishing the supper” she added gently, daring to draw her hand closer to Maria’s, playing absently minded with the woman’s fingers- both of them avoiding the fact she still wore her wedding ring- as if they were the most precious thing in the world- which, to Eliza, everything about Maria, _were_ the most precious things in the world “She is very excited to _actually_ meet you” and, when the statement was met with a light, unbelieving scoff, Eliza’s brought her eyes up at the woman “She _is,_ everything had just been very, um, unexpected”

Maria chuckled nervously, meeting her dazzling eyes “I suppose I can agree with that” she joined their already-touching hands, interlacing them with as much assurance as she mustered, not only seeking, but also emanating strength and taking a big, deep breath “Should we go to the kitchen now?”

Eliza, then, suddenly allowed a mischievous grin, Maria’s absolute _favorite_ , to take over her mouth- she glanced quickly over the woman’s shoulder, into the dark room Susan was soundly asleep, and after a small pause, returned her eyes to hers. “In a moment” she answered and pulled both of her hands, gently separating Maria from the door jamb.

“Oh?” Maria stumbled unto her own feet, trying to follow Eliza’s movements only to be slowly backed against the wall- not too far away from where she had been, but not as close to be on anyone’s sight. Eliza stepped closer, alternating between her lovingly gazing at Maria's eyes and mouth “Your eyes can, in all of the universe, only compete with your mouth” and released her hands, allowing the woman to stop anything if she wanted “Can I kiss you, darling?”

Maria had been waiting to touch her lips again ever since she had last done it- not trusting her trembling voice enough to do it, she chose, instead, to gently pull Eliza’s head close to hers, allowing their lips to _finally_ meet again. Her mouth managed to be even more silky as she remembered, almost melting into hers, as dripping honey, with a harmony that they were sure no instrument could even replicate.

When both women needed air more than they needed each other's mouth, Eliza took half a step back, smiling at the woman with drunkly in love eyes- her pupils taking over her whole iris, turning her chocolate eyes black. Her red, a little more swollen than the usual, lips opened and closed two times, before managing to actually form a single word “Maria” it felt like a certainty, like another promise, the ones they would only figure out what it meant when it had already been fulfilled.

Her name had never sounded like a prayer until she had heard Eliza say it- this time, with such hesitancy and wavering that caused her to furrow her brows, waiting for her to speak again “My angel” was the only thing that left her mouth, in a wonder-like tone.

And when she felt tears falling down her cheeks, she knew they were there to heal every path of her body they would trace- For the first time, her own tears were not burning, but taking care of herself, and she knew, for thousands of reasons, that these would not be the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope y'all liked it!!  
> see you at the final part :D

**Author's Note:**

> hope y'all enjoyed it!!!


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